Prince Noctis Discovers Fake News, You Won't Believe What Happens Next
by Oro-han
Summary: Set in their high school days, Prompto introduces Noctis to the fake news about him on the internet.
1. Chapter 1

Promto and Noctis sat on the couch doing their homework as Ignis prepared dinner in the kitchen. This was usually their most productive time, because Ignis had taken to not letting them have dinner until they'd finished. _Usually_ because Prompto had gotten distracted at some point and pulled out his cell phone.

Noctis tried to focus on his work, but the longer Prompto was on his phone the harder it got. He was stifling his laughter, shaking silently and turning red. Prompto's feet kicked at the couch, and more than once he punched it repeatedly trying to maintain control, tears streaming down his face. It was at the point where he collapsed and fell off the couch onto the floor, roaring laughter that Noctis gave up on trying to ignore him.

"Okay, what's so funny?" Noct rolled his eyes, tossing his pencil onto the coffee table and putting his feet up. Ignis shot them both a look, but didn't say anything, they both already knew the rules: homework first, then dinner.

"I-I'm just reading the Insomnia Enquirer online." Prompto's words came out between wheezing laughter. "It's amazing."

Noct sighed heavily, of course it would be something stupid like that. "Isn't that a tabloid, fake news or something?"

"Oh, it's more than that." Prompto sat up, finger swiping wildly on his phone as he searched for something. "It's endless entertainment." His voice still shook with laughter but he had managed to catch his breath. "It's amazing!"

"How amazing can it be?" Noctis tried to sound annoyed, but his interest was piqued.

"Well," Prompto said, clearly excited to share, eyes gleaming with mirth. "Prince Noctis is the hot topic lately, and there are _so_ many juicy details about his private life."

"Like what? Math homework?" Noctis shook his head.

"Let's see," Prompto scrolled through his phone, presumably looking at a list of articles. "Ah yes, 'Prince of Lucis Seen Entering Apartment With Mysterious Blonde: Is He Being Blackmailed for Sex?"

"What the fuck?" Noctis sat straight up, looking first at Prompto, then over at Ignis who seemed unperturbed.

"That's only the beginning, 'Prince Noctis's Sultry Blonde Friend, Secret Love Affair?' or 'Prince Noctis: Was He Kicked Out of the Castle for Secret Sex Dungeon? Exclusive Interview" Prompto kicked his feet in laughter.

"Ah yes, the secret sex dungeon," Ignis chimed in from where he stood over the stove. "As I recall it's supposed to be next to the underground swimming pool."

"That's the one," Prompto agreed excitedly. "Of course you'd be caught up on all the local gossip."

"That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard, who would believe this garbage?" Noct crossed his arms over his chest, upset that this was the first he was hearing about this, and that Ignis already seemed to know it was a thing.

Prompto moved to sit next to him, shoving his phone in Noctis's face. "Dude, it get's better, check out the comments."

" _I go to school with Prince Noctis, that blonde guy is definitely his boyfriend._ "

" _Noooooooooo! Prince Noctis can't be gay!_ "

" _What are you talking about, that makes him even sexier!_ "

" _I'm a straight dude, but I'd definitely brave his sex dungeon to get into the castle."_

" _Hte prince is a gay sh*t, if he wants to suck c*ck he can suck mine so i can quit my sh*tty job_ "

" _I heard he's sleeping with his advisors, and runs a prostitution ring_ "

The comments went on like that forever, but Prompto was back to laughing so hard he couldn't breathe, let alone read them outloud anymore.

Ignis shook his head, "I think I would recall sleeping with Noct, or earning any extra on the side for it."

"W-what the hell?" Noctis looked back and forth between the two of them, who seemed completely unbothered by it. Half that shit had been about Prompto and he was laughing. "How can you guys be so calm? If you knew about this why didn't you tell me? Does my dad know? Is he going to do something?"

"Dude," Prompto slapped a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down. No one takes this stuff seriously, and if they do they're too dumb to worry about. Besides, if anyone tried to do something… well I can see the headline now 'Lucis Tries to Shut Down The Insomnia Enquirer, What is He Trying to Hide?' You'll only fuel the fire."

"He is, for once, completely correct in his assessment of the situation." Ignis agreed, moving about the kitchen once more, portioning food onto plates. "It's best to ignore it, or find amusement in it like Prompto. The more you fight it the worse it will become."

"Here," Prompto began typing something into the search bar on his phone. "I know what will cheer you up. 'Prince Noctis Takes Off His Shirt, You Won't Believe What Happens Next" Prompto clicked the title, a new page loading.

Noctis snatched the cell phone from Prompto's hands, staring in disbelief. "Did, did they crop my head onto someone else's body?"

"What, no, of course not!" Prompto denied incredulously. "Everyone knows you have that Gladen Quay beach body. Practically a bronze god."

Noctis scrolled down the page of badly shopped photos of his head on different muscular male bodies. At least ten pictures with ridiculous comments about it getting hot, and the author wanting to help him oil up for the sun.

He reached the bottom of the page, where the comments started and just sort of gave up. "Someone made a .gif of it."

"Let me see." Prompto snatched his phone back, cackling wildly at the flexing muscular body with Nocts face and little sparkles and hearts dancing around it. "I'm saving this, it's going to be my call icon for you for the next million years."

"Be sure to send it to me as well, I need to update his photo in contacts, and I'm sure Gladiolus would be greatful as well." Ignis added, a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth as he tried to maintain his outward unaffectedness, "And on that note, dinner is served."

Noctis groaned, rubbing his hands over his face tiredly. "I hate you both."


	2. Chapter 2

**Prince Noctis in a Love Triangle With The Oracle Lunafreya and High School Classmate? It's More Likely Than You Think.**

Author: Oro-han

Saturday, Janurary 28

Prince Noctis Lucis Caelum first moved from the castle to a private residence in downtown Insomnia earlier last year to begin his high school career as an independent citizen. Though he has been attending a public school since his sixth grade year, he did not fully enter the realm of the public eye until the controversial move that had the Kingsglaive in an uproar over security concerns.

At roughly the same time as the move, Prince Noctis started spending time with a classmate our sources have identified as Prompto Argentum. Though research shows they have been attending the same school for years, it was only once Prince Noctis moved out on his own that he started being seen publicly with this classmate, spurring rumors that an illicit relationship between the two was the true reason behind his seeking independence in the first place.

The combination of these things propelled Prince Noctis to the center of public attention here in Insomnia and compelled this author to take a closer look into his past in an attempt to find the truth behind the rumors. What the evidence revealed was more telling than anyone could have anticipated.

It is no secret that in his younger years Prince Noctis spent time in Tenebrae after the unfortunate accident that befell the royal family. There, while recovering from his injuries, Prince Noctis was often in the company of Lady Lunafreya Nox Fleuret, sources say that the two were very close in their time together. However, tragedy struck once more, this time in the form of a coup by the Empire that annexed Tenebrae in an unprecedented act of war.

This was not to be the end of the friendship, and some even say romantic relationship, between Prince Noctis and Lady Lunafreya. Over the years that followed Lady Lunafreya's canine companions Umbra (left) and Pryna (right) were seen around the city and in the company of Prince Noctis delivering letters between the two star crossed lovers. It seemed that not even a globe consuming war could keep the two lovebirds apart.

Enter the high school sweetheart. It seems that true love is not so true and pure in this day and age. Sources show that from nearly the exact moment of entering high school that Prince Noctis has been spending his free time in the company of one Prompto Argentum, with photographic evidence of the two entering Prince Noctis's private residence on multiple occasions. This alone is not cause for concern, but time stamps show that more than once over the last two years the two have spent the night together.

What are we to make of this? Without direct comment from the Crown, we may never know exactly what is going on between the two boys, or how this factors into the long term relationship between Prince Noctis and Lady Lunafreya. Some say it's only speculation, but this reporter believes that the evidence points to a very obvious conclusion.

Copyright © The Insomnia Inquirer. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.


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